New plan, new chemo, new day

I am so blessed! Thank you for your constant compassion and support.  Thank you for the prayers and concern.  I felt more empowered with each note of care and encouragement.  One of the greatest blessings of cancer is learning the value of family and true friends in a way you never would otherwise.  I treasure the relationships in my life immensely.

You should know, I enjoy the time I spend with the staff at the oncologist.  I decided long ago that no one lets their friends die, so I make sure everyone in the office knows I am a friend.  There are a lot of laughs and it is nice to keep up on what is happening in their families.  So, when you think of me going to the oncologist you don't need to feel sad.  We really make the best of it.  For example, if you stand on one foot with one foot and the other foot extended far to the side when stepping on the scale- as long as you capture the first weight that shows, before the numbers bounce around a little, you can come in 3-5 lbs lighter.  The nurses laughed when I tried this, but it worked.

Now, about the most recent visit: I am almost able to predict the entire conversation Dr J and I will have.  I got it right again this week.  Thursday we decided that it would be pointless to take chemo which may not be effective.  So, I got a week off (YEAH) and we ran the blood through the CA27.29 test - which determines the level of ones tumor markers.  Results came back on Friday and show an increase again.  So, Abraxene is no longer an effective chemo for me.  I am moving to the next option, Eribulin, which you can read about here.  I think I need to send some new banner suggestions to the company.  "Put time on your side" with a picture of a old cancer patient isn't very appealing.  Also, the copy is horrible.  It tries to encourage by telling me that in clinical trials (older women with metastatic breast cancer) live an average of 13.2 months compared to those treated with other therapies, who lived an average of 10.6 months.  We aren't looking for months live, but treatment cycles without tumor growth.  Every other research study I have read talks in these terms.

To be clear, we are not fighting for the last 10.6 months here friends.  I will use Eribulin for a long as it is effective.  Over time tumors build a resistance to chemo-therapies, hence changing all of the time.  When I develop a resistance to this one there are a myriad of others and we will keep cycling through.

I feel that my prayers were answered.  Dr J and I discussed a laundry list of topics on my mind.  I also feel that this is the right step.  It sure isn't the step I would like to be taking.  I want to be telling you that I was miraculously cured - something that happens in about 2% of cases like mine. 

I am, however, happy to tell you that I am blessed,  I am loved, and I am thankful.  And, life is normal.  I am off to pay rent, shop for a graduation dress with my daughter and clean out closets.  I bet dozens have the same, or similar things on your list of things to do today.

10 Months!!!! Can you believe it?

I have a PET/CT scheduled for next week.  Then the week after that I will get the results and we will see where the last 10 MONTH OF CANCER TREATMENT have gotten me.  

10 Months!!!! Can you believe it?  

Here is where it all began.  Well, really it began back in June 2006 when I was first diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  Stage IIIB and an original tumor greater than 10cm and 18/24 lymph nodes involved.  I powered through A/C chemo followed by Taxol, perception, Arimadex, Aromasin and nearly 5 years as a survivor.  I had survived a mostly broken marriage, divorce, moved across America and even a period of unemployment during our recent economic crisis that plagues many.  I had put a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction behind me.  After all that, I believed I would be taking on the world, or at least Disney World.

Instead, last October, nearly 1 year ago, I failed a blood test and ended up in Cancer-Detention.  (lol, I think that is a good name for a repeat cancer patient.  Maybe it should be Remedial-Cancer)  Now, each month I get a re-test.  Some months I pass, some months I fail - like this month when I had to start a new treatment plan because of my bad score.

I really have been able to continue on, at least on the outside, as always.    However, at home it can be a different story.  I spend many weekends sleeping or resting the entire time.  I have struggled with joint and bone pain that makes me want to cry or scream.  And, today, with rain storms brewing I had some moderate discomfort.

BUT, I haven't missed a day of work, besides surgery one day to have a port placed, because of my cancer.  I haven't missed one soccer game or swim meet because of cancer.  I have been truly blessed to fight with power, even when I am weak.

I have been so blessed.  I try to always see the things I have and the power I am given to do so much, because I believe it is your attitude that governs you satisfaction with life.

Be positive, be beautiful
Love, Kel