Cancer can't stop good

Because, deep down I think we know, all the bad things that can happen in life can't stop us from making our lives good.

I hope you will check out this commercial from Allstate.  I love the wisdom because I beleive - even though bad things happen good things can come from them.

A couple of weeks ago I decided to treat myself to a Spiced Apple Cider (Yummy!) at Starbucks inside Target with a gift card I had received.  In spite of wanting to get home I  waited in the slow moving line for my craving self.  As I waited a little white knight came into my day.


(a white knight is the term I use to describe the miracles of cancer, it comes from my favorite Onc nurse (Lisa at Utah Cancer Specialists - Layton) helping me learn to visualize my healing as she pumped evil chemo into my veins and told me to imagine armies of white knights marching through my body slaying cancer cells)

Behind me a man asked to be forgiven for getting personal, "I noticed you are wearing a turban and I assume it may because you are getting chemo."  (Oh, I am getting sick of looking like cancer.  I wore a long red wig and false eyelashes on Black Friday when I took the kiddies to the mall and no one looked twice or had the look of compassion in their eyes.  As far as anyone knew I was insane for going to the mall - wait, they are insane for going to the mall.  It was nice for ALL of us to just be normal.  But, if I was normal I wouldn't be able to bless the lives of people like this white knight.)  He really didn't need to know what I would suggest to get through chemo.  He needed to tell someone who understands - I am starting chemo in 2 days.  I am scared.  I am supposed to get on a plane two days after that.  I don't want my life to stop.  I don't want to hold myself over a bucket for days.

WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN?  PLEASE - TELL ME THE DOCTORS AREN'T LYING.  TELL ME IT WILL BE OK!

And, luckily I can tell him IT IS GOING TO BE OK!  You can get through chemo.

I am so blessed to be able to help others get through cancer, in some little way. I know how much someones help means and I am grateful to make the road easier for someone else.

I have just learned that a person who has become very central to my life has a relapse of cancer.  It is a rare cancer, if I am correct it is called Pseudomyxoma Peritonei.  It is a terrible rare cancer with minimal research and less understanding for treatment options and a cure.  For everyone who has prayed for me, please pray for my friend, I am leaving the name out for privacy sake.

Dear friend - know that Cancer can't stop us from making our lives good!  God will brings blessings he could not have offered without the (rotten) circumstances cancer brings.

Make life good!
Love - Kel

10 Months!!!! Can you believe it?

I have a PET/CT scheduled for next week.  Then the week after that I will get the results and we will see where the last 10 MONTH OF CANCER TREATMENT have gotten me.  

10 Months!!!! Can you believe it?  

Here is where it all began.  Well, really it began back in June 2006 when I was first diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  Stage IIIB and an original tumor greater than 10cm and 18/24 lymph nodes involved.  I powered through A/C chemo followed by Taxol, perception, Arimadex, Aromasin and nearly 5 years as a survivor.  I had survived a mostly broken marriage, divorce, moved across America and even a period of unemployment during our recent economic crisis that plagues many.  I had put a bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction behind me.  After all that, I believed I would be taking on the world, or at least Disney World.

Instead, last October, nearly 1 year ago, I failed a blood test and ended up in Cancer-Detention.  (lol, I think that is a good name for a repeat cancer patient.  Maybe it should be Remedial-Cancer)  Now, each month I get a re-test.  Some months I pass, some months I fail - like this month when I had to start a new treatment plan because of my bad score.

I really have been able to continue on, at least on the outside, as always.    However, at home it can be a different story.  I spend many weekends sleeping or resting the entire time.  I have struggled with joint and bone pain that makes me want to cry or scream.  And, today, with rain storms brewing I had some moderate discomfort.

BUT, I haven't missed a day of work, besides surgery one day to have a port placed, because of my cancer.  I haven't missed one soccer game or swim meet because of cancer.  I have been truly blessed to fight with power, even when I am weak.

I have been so blessed.  I try to always see the things I have and the power I am given to do so much, because I believe it is your attitude that governs you satisfaction with life.

Be positive, be beautiful
Love, Kel