Facing the long day ahead

When a coworker is the one to remind you of your bone scan there is reason for concern.
I knew I had the test this week, but there was no part of my brain that cared which day and no part that felt the need to get organized.  Leaving work last night MS wished me luck on my bone scan tomorrow (today) and that is when I realized - I had not even cared when it was.  Is this a sign of exhaustion, becoming numb to the volume of medical appointments or complete apathy? I don't know, but even being here this morning I am somewhere between annoyed (I hate it when the treating facility asks me to complete a medication list!) and wondering if tears are just going to start falling.  I don't have any particular reason to cry, but I am that kind of tired.  When I feel like this I feel like a child.  You know, children cry when they are tired, not for any reason, but because they just can't be awake anymore.  And, while I am sure I could fall asleep with very few comforts, it is a different kind of tired - bone tired where no amount of sleep alone is going to resolve the problem.
I also feel an overwhelming sense of stress. I am stressed about medical test results, taking this chemo that has landed me in the hospital twice in the 3 cycles, Christmas gifts and visits with family, and work. Add to this the upsetting phonecall I got last time I sat in the cafeteria waiting for this test last time, and I think I would like to crawl under a rock right now!
I am going to be glad when this day is over.  And, tomorrow I am going to get back to being myself.  I am going to be happy and optomistic.  I am going to have hope and be excited about Christmas.