Bald or spotted buzz cut?

This week I have been dealing with the sad news that my tumor markers aren't where I hoped they were going to be. They are going up when I needed them to go down just a bit more before getting off chemo. 

You know, I dream 1-2 times a week about my hair being long, dark, thick and wavy. Not this week. No hair dreams at all. 

I have been debating what I should do. Should I shave the patchy bits of hair that are growing back between treatment or do I let it grow and thicken?  

I shaved. I don't want to grow hair back to learn that I could have to change chemo and loose the hair again. It is easier to stay bald than become bald again. It sounds funny to some that I would shave my head, but, I am not doing it for fashion.  It's to save heart ache. 

I am waiting now for this weeks treatment and Dr. appointment to learn what we want to do about my stupid cancer cells.

Oh well, no point in getting upset. This is my life, and really it isn't that bad. 

I have a wonderful family.  I have the basic needs and some nice extras which are paid for by a good job. I have awesome friends and so many I love and who love me.  I can't think of anything I need that would bring more happiness than what I already have.  So, hair or no hair, I am a blessed and happy woman.