Thank You, God

Today, among all of the feelings I have had this week, the feeling that bubbles to the top is gratitude to God, a loving Heavenly Father, who blesses my life.  And amazement of the selfless love of Jesus Christ, who offers complete understanding of the struggles we face in life.
My resentful day at the Dr quickly became a total waste of make-up as I melted into a sobbing mess to the nurses and my sweet Oncologist.  I told them I am ready to be cured and free of cancer, a concept they know (scientifically) is impossible for a stage IV Breast Cancer patient.  But, I know a secret - it is possible if it is the miracle God wants in my life.
I have not been tolorating the chemo, Xeloda, very well.  It is known as a mild chemo with few side effects for many patients. But, not for me.    :(  So, I have been given a week off to get myself pulled back together.  "Pull yourself together girl"is NOT what the medical team said.  They told me to "stop taking the chemo pills and get feeling better.  Then, come back next week after you have taken some time to think about switching to Abraxene".  I am the one saying, pull yourself together girl!  Decide what you are going to do, and do it!  Move forward with surety in your decision.  Show your faith that with God all things are possible.
I am not yet completely sure what I am going to decide to do, but I know that through Faith I can survive this trial with beauty and dignity.
Kel
P.S.  Dignity can be maintained while crying on the shoulder of friends.