Wonder of wonders, Miracle of miracles!Two weeks ago during one of my routine oncology visits I learned that my blood counts were taking the "high road" as they had increased again. With the doc taking a trip to India later this month she wanted to get testing and results before leaving for vacation. So, my blood work was sent out for analysis and I was scheduled for another high-tech imaging session, a PET scan.
I love the smell of radioactive glucose in the morning!I really noticed how anxious I was about what they would find in the three days prior to my appointment with the doctor. At this point I knew the results had been read and sent to the doctor and I felt like I was totally out of the loop on the status of my life. I just kept repeating in my mind- "no matter the outcome we just charge forward! That is the way to win the fight. I won't take this sitting down."
On the day of my appointment with the Onc I looked into the eyes of every oncology office employee who talked to me- trying to determine if there was any pity or sorrow there. I watched body language. But I just couldn't get a read on anyone. I was debating between accepting "they didn't read the report" and "they are just trying to avoid me" when I was called into the exam room. Dr J came in and told me, "there is nothing on your PET scan. There is no uptake on the sternum, no uptake on the spine, and the node on your lung doesn't show uptake either". On my lung? Oh! I didn't know I had a spot on my lung. OK, maybe I was supposed to know. Maybe they told me and I didn't hear or didn't remember, but it was still a surprise that day.
I absorbed the shock and then realized I am living a miracle. Over a year of facing stage 4 cancer and I am relatively healthy and the cancer is not growing. The blood counts are up and down, which just means those nasty little black cells can't find anywhere to live.
So, as I am approaching another Christmas season I am so pleased to be able to focus on the things that only matter when the things that really matter are ok. I can enjoy the parties, the gift giving, the excitement of my kiddies. I have been blessed.
What a wonderful day.