Talking About Cancer with Children

Cancer? What am I going to tell my kids?

I remember the first time I found out I was becoming a cancer patient.  I had been in to see my doctor- I had a bit of a worry about getting everything back in order as I was post-pardum.  That visit turned into a relay of examinations that whisked me from the OB/GYN office to mammography then from mammography back to the OB/GYN where the PA cried as she told me it didn't look good.  She cried and I promised here everything would be fine.

As I drove home, a quick 10 minutes away, I contacted a friend who sold insurance to see if there was any way to buy up some more medical insurance before the tests can back. (BTW- the answer is no)

Then I called my parents and told them.  And, it was time to talk to the kids.  I can't remember if I told them that night or if I gave myself a day to get used to the idea.  My kids were under 5 yrs old, so the conversation was simple.  We ate ice cream cones (on the couch, so against the rules) and like the hockey-pocky, we figured out what it was all about.

There is no way, no matter how young the kids are, to eliminate the intuitive sense of worry.  They can all feel the stress and uncertainty. But, conversation and discussion can help.  IMO, the cancer patient should do a lot of talking if possible, but they need a great team of supporters who can help watch the kids for any signs of added stress an worry, which are sure to be there at different times as treatment continues.

I found this article, 10 Tips for Talking to Kids About Cancer.  It has some good ideas.  What has worked for you?  What ages where your kids?