Threats to change my chemo again

Today's appt with my Onc before treatment included questions about nausea, no problem; numbness or tingling, yes, my foot has been numb for 2 weeks. It is painful sometimes, burning sometimes, and feels like pins and needles sometimes. Her answer, " we are going to have to change it then". Me: "change what, my foot?  Because this chemo is working and I don't want to change the chemo". That argument seems to have been persuasive enough to be rewarded with another prescription and OTC remedy to treat this side effect. I hope that I will be able to hold out for long enough on this treatment that the blood counts can hit normal levels with NED ( no evidce of disease) so I can earn my "chemo hiadus". 

I am feeling like I had chemo today. I am starting my fourth cycle on Abraxene. The regiment is a three week on and one week off rotation. So I have had 12 doses. The first signs that the drugs are on board ( signs which have developed over time) are the feeling that more fiber is essential. A few hours later my legs begin to feel like jello. They hum, and they feel like I have done too much exercise but only weakness not strength settle in. By the end of the day my arms feel achy and tight. My stomach is a bit sour.  And, I am both tired and sleepless. 

So, these are all the bummers of chemo/Abraxene. But, as chemo goes, it isn't too bad.  The side effects  are manageable and the infusion time is super short. So many patients are in their chairs before I arrive and still there after I leave. They need caretakers to get through the long day. Food, blankets, naps, Benadryl. I remember- it was so intense!  This is much more relaxed. But, the chemo is building up in my body.  I rebound less each round and end up more tired, less energetic, etc. in my mind I feel like I am lazy. I get so frustrated with myself. Then I get a week off and notice that I feel different after some time off so I do have hope that some day I will feel a normal level of laziness and ability to get something done. 

If you are praying for me, I really would appreciate your prayers that I will be able to continue using a chemo that will drop my blood counts and give me time off the drugs.  Please pray that I will know when it is time to change treatment so I can move forward with conviction. 

 

Here's to 2014 and the next phase of my chemo living.

Kel