A Change Would Do Me Good, Gearing Up for Another Oncology Visit

I will be back with the Onc this week.  What a drag that is becoming.  When I went to my Onc up north the first time it was so much fun.  I loved my team.  They were my good friends and we would talk and catch up.  We would laugh and they would pull me through.  Now when I go to the Onc it is just business. The waiting room is uncomfortable.  The run-around office workflow is restless and slow.  The chemo room as no snacks, no diet coke, and no camaraderie between patients and patients or patients and clinicians. DRAG!
I think we are going to have to talk very frankly about the current method of treatment.  The side effects keep me on and off the drugs between reactions.  The mouth sores make it nearly impossible to swallow - :( . And, my skin feels like it is layers of mud-mask dried and flaking.  I feel like it is all going to peal away and that there is sandpaper on the skin between my fingers.
The constant discomfort is tough on my spirit.  It makes me realize how much the discomfort and pain I have come to accept as part of a normal life.  When there are days I feel really great then I actually just feel worse that I have to feel rotten so much.  
There is nothing that anyone can do for me.  I know people want to help, but I can't imagine what would make a difference.

You know what Jack would say - Throw me a bone here man!

I had to pick this picture, because I am starting to feel like a yippie little chihuahua or chew-chew-wa-wa as my kids say.  I feel whiny and wimpy.  All bark and no fight.  I don't know how I am going to do it, but I have to get back in the game here.  I feel like everything with my cancer is just happening to me.  It feels like a slow process with more set-backs than progress.  I mean, it's cancer treatment.  Feeling rotten is to be expected, but not when the tumor is more active than when treatment started.  

So, what is the big plan here?  What do I have to do to be free of cancer treatment and live?   Is there a way?

I need a change.  A big, fat, exciting and happy change.

Who knows, there may be something on the horizon. 

Maybe it is time to get a house the the front door leading to a front yard like this...