Designer Drugs - A Hard Habit to Support

Lately I have a hard time remembering which updates I have made and which new pieces of news I keep to myself while I try to process the news.
I have been fighting stage IV breast cancer for 6.5 months.  I began with a combination of drugs to strengthen my bones which are weakened by previous treatments and the tumors growing in place of the bone materials.  I also received a hormone blocking drug as the makeup of my tumors show the hormone receptors - meaning the tumor which is trying to replace the bones grows better with hormones.
This cocktail failed.  There was only a month or two where the tumor markers showed decreased tumor activity.
Having failed the tumor marker blood tests enough times in a row I have been given a new protocol.  This medication can be taken at home.  That sounds like a good thing, but what is sounds like is deceiving.  Drugs taken at home are covered in a different way by insurance.  Drugs administered by a nurse in a medical facility are a treatment.  Drugs taken at home are a prescription.
These prescription drugs, only given to an elite group of people, are not formulary.  Don't speak insurance?  That means "we don't think this drug is popular/essential/cheap enough to pay in the same way we pay for antidepressants or insulin or blood pressure medicine".
This new drug shows so much promise with breast cancer.  It doubles the length of time before tumors begin growing again, on average.   Unfortunately we are talking about 3 month to 7 months on average.  So, I guess we are hoping my results aren't average.
So, the big news?  This wonder drug costs $2,000 a month - after my insurance does cover this medication. OUCH!!!
Well - I have payment for 3-4 months.  That will give me time to see what happens, how the cancer responds.  If it looks good, great- we will march on.  If not, it will be chemo.
Growing up I never thought that I would be 30-ish, raising a family alone, fighting metastatic cancer, and spending thousand of dollars a month on drugs.
The last two days have been tough.  I have intense pain in my bones, especially in my sternum where the cancer first presented in my bones.  ITC pain meds don't do anything.  I have been told we can get something more powerful.  We will see - have a life to live.
I have to say - the treatment options feel so barbaric.  Cancer Sucks!!! It hurts!  And the treatments make you tired, sick, weak and less tenatious.
I wish I knew that it would end at some point.  I wish I knew one day this would be over (before I die).