Remembering the Past

Over the last few weeks I have been very mindful of my Grandma (Mom's Mom) to the point that one night last week I woke with the thought of telling her not to leave, as in die.  She has been gone for almost 9 years.
Maybe it is her strong character I wish I had as I face a new year.  Maybe it is the witty jokes.  Or it could likely be her children and grandchildren, my Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins, who have rallied  with unwavering support through my current cancer phase as well as they last.
I have been having conversations with her in my head, lest you panic- they are all one sided- one sentence conversations that end as I remember I am not getting an answer.
Grandma is an amazing lady.  She had a strong commitment to religion and family.  She worked so hard, even in the face of heartbreak.  She was resolute.  And, I feel so weak.
I was sick this week with strep.  Strep really isn't that big a deal, I mean it never has been to me, but this week I was sicker than I have been in years.  Also a few weeks ago I was sick a couple of days.  My blood pressure seemed to be controlled by some erratic electric current.  It righted itself, but for a couple of days....
I have just been thinking about how blessed I have been with this phase of cancer. (I am calling it a phase because I can't think of a better term right now.  There was round 1 of diagnosis and treatment, now I am in round 2 of re-diagnisis and treatment.) I have been very strong.  I zip over to treatment at lunch and the only reason I am not back to the office within an hour is that I eat a decent lunch from a surface other than my desk on these days of saving my life.  I don't have to get too sick, and I think that I am learning how to manage the effects so I don't really have to be sick or worn down much at all.  And, the tests are promising.
But, in spite of all that is going so easily, I wish I was stronger.  I wish I felt more energetic.  I wish I was more like the me I was before I turned 30 and entered phase one.
Oh well, I got what I got.
And, I am so blessed by the people who are in my corner.
Of course my parents, who give all that any parent ever could for their children. At our church we have amazing friends, who it seems we have known forever, who watch out and care for us.  The kids know they are loved, and feel confident calling on them for help if ever Mom or the Grandparents can't offer what is needed.
And, as I mentioned, family- from across the country, who have reached out with prayers, cards, and love since this began over 2 months ago.  They have gone out of their way! Friends around the world have done the same.  What a sweet moment to get something in the mail from one of these cheerleaders.  I see the return address and that is the real gift!  It is magic knowing the thought about us and then did something about it.
Just a few weeks ago in the car I was talking with the kids about money and being rich.  In discussing that love, happiness and friends are true riches which money can not buy we had settled the subject.  But the little one, very proud of the money earned by helping Grandma with a task, announced "but I can [buy happiness] because I have $3!"
Luck for me, I have $3 too.  So I can buy lasting wealth.
I hope you have the wealth of friends and family, love and happiness.  I hope you're the wealth of many others. I hope this New Year provides you many opportunities to count that $3 and multiply it over and over.