When is Bedtime?

Hi Ya'll,

Is it just me, or are ya'll confused by the time change too?  At 6:30 I was telling the kids it was time to head to bed.  And, I was planning on go to bed too!  Thanks to daylight-savings I am loosing my mind.

I used my miscalculation of time to get a musical instrument ready for rhythm day at school, create a "Star-Student" poster, and ... I don't know what else I have done.  But, I am pretty sure the idea behind all the school projects is to have the kiddie and Mommy work together.  Someone needs to let these teachers know that is can't be done.  Maybe I am one of the only Mom's who can't get it all done, in which case I should feel really bad, but I don't.

Anyway- now that I have a guitar made out of a wheat-thins box, and a poster board showing only a couple of my kiddies favorite pictures I am going to check in with you, and then go meet Mr. Sandman.
I have found my treatment regime very tolerable.  There is some pain at the injection site on the first day.  Severe headaches for several days, heartburn, and I am super tired (but who's to say that isn't from making music with cracker boxes).  However, these side-effects are nothing compared to what I went through before with A/C and Taxol.

Because the side-effects are mild, I am feeling very guilty over the kindness and generosity of friends and neighbors.  I feel so wrong accepting help since I am not as sick as I was before.  I don't know what to say- should I politely decline your help or accept the offering knowing you would like to do something to help?  I must admit it is very hard to be on the receiving end again.

The first time I went through cancer I accepted the kindness knowing it was temporary, and believing that I wouldn't have to be in that position again. Ha- got that wrong.  I wish I had the time, money, and opportunity to pay it forward.  But, instead, I am trying to figure out the right thing to do about my situation now.  Accept help or not, fearing people will think I am taking advantage of them?

I don't know the answer tonight.  So, I will move on-

I don't have a timeline for my treatment.  Before it was easy because the chemo was so toxic there were a limited number of infusions that could be given. So, from the beginning I knew how many rounds I would have before moving to the next therapy.

This time it is much more mystical.  I will be getting bi-weekly injections for 3 rounds, then switching to monthly injections.  I will have blood tests every month, and we will be looking at the blood results in 2 months to tell us how this therapy is working.  I will have the PET/CT scan in 3 months.

If the cancer is responsive, then we continue with the treatment until.... a time in the future when treatment is either not necessary or not working.

I mentioned there are several treatment paths for me.  When/if this path fails we will move to one of the other 2 paths, both of which are more brutal, so hopefully this one does it!

Tonight I am homesick for my sisters and brother.  I love ya, guys.

Tonight I am Thankful:

• for electric heat pads
• Elmers Glue
• Essential Oils
• Bath Tubs
• ice water
• beach vacations
• washing machines
• sleeping kiddies (ahh- silence)