The Most Important Decision!

Whenever you are facing something life changing decisions of enormous magnitude that must be calculated and committed to.  Some people make these commitments easily and are open to coarse correcting decisions along the way.  Others, like me, struggle to know the single option that will lead to the exact outcome desired.  We play out scenarios in our minds from beginning to end, calculating the risk, weighing the results.  We are "slow" to commit. For me, it is because I feel that the decision I make is a life long commitment.  I am not a changer, I am a keeper.  For scientific-deciders like me, a course correction feels like a defeat.
I don't know which way is right or which way is wrong.  I don't even think there is a right and wrong way; decision methodology is just a way of being.  It is part of our chemical make-up, at least that is what I believe as I compare myself to my siblings and compare my kiddies to one another.  Some are doers-and-changers, some are one-timers.
No matter which type you are, when it comes to your healthcare team, especially your oncology team, you MUST be a doer-and-changer.
Think of yourself as the CEO and President of your health.  You hire a medical team on a right-to-work basis- meaning you can hire and fire at will.
I don't mean that you should change healthcare providers as you mood or side effects change.  But, you are going to pay handsomely for their services.  They are selling you services.  If you aren't getting what you want- make a switch.
Think about it.
If you were getting a new hair stylist you would try someone out once.  If it seems to go well, you will be back for a trim or root touch-up in 4 to 6 weeks.  Still looking good?  Hopefully a little better than last time even since they are getting to know your hair and style. We are now considering a long term relationship.
But, if you had a questionable first experience and the second visit shows you are going down hill fast would you really go back again?  Not even I would be that committed!
The same goes with your healthcare team.  You have to advocate for yourself.  You have to find someone that you trust with your life. That is literally what you are doing.  Selecting someone who you trust to make what are potentially life-and-death decisions for and with you.
This is what I have been up to the last few days.  I had some solid concerns over the Onc I was seeing.  I had been lazy and stuck with that doc for a year. I reasoned that I was just doing a couple routine visits for follow-up.  I had found a different doc I wanted to try, but didn't want to go through the hassle of transferring records and getting time off work to go in for a visit.  (dealing with guilt over taking time off work for health care is a topic for another day)  But, when the CA27.29 came back bad and then the PET came back spotted like a Dalmatian I had to get honest and deal with my laziness.
I got my second opinion today.  NIGHT and DAY!
I found someone who connected on the intellectual level I want to function at, who understood the disease, research, options, drugs in testing, and took the time to speak with me until she could see that I had absorbed and processed all of the data she was sharing.
She verified the conclusions of the previous Onc.  And then see went to work requesting the tests that will fill in gaps in the testing I completed last week.  I bit of my bone biopsy is being sent out for HER2 testing. She then went over an outline for treatment options again.
So, today I learned that we may or may not be treating HER2+.  My original cancer was E+, P+, Her2+, or triple positive.  The biopsy testing didn't include the HER2 testing, although Onc 1 lead me to believe it had been included.
If it is HER2 + we will go with one family of drugs.  If it is not, then we will be looking at a different family of drugs.
THIS IS A MAJOR FACTOR IN TREATMENT!
Why did the first Onc want to start treatment based on the assumption it was HER2+?  If that assumption was wrong I would have waisted chemo, a head of hair, and precious time I want to spend saving my life.
So, today was a great day.
I feel like we are headed in a more constructive direction.  I feel trust and hope in my options for a Onc Team.  If I choose this team or another team I know that the options are in my favor.
Tomorrow I am getting a second second-opinion.  Well, actually I feel like today was really a first opinion.  So tomorrow is my second opinion, right?

By Wednesday/Thursday I will know if I am fighting HER2+ again or not.
By next week I will have a treatment plan!  I will be on the warpath.  I will be fighting with full armor.
Envisioning this makes me feel strong.


My Blessings:

1. I am grateful for friends and their faith.  Thankyou for your prayers and the fasting you dedicated to me.
2. Working 8 hours with out a nap today, and then getting off work and working on other projects.
3. Halloween candy dishes, especially caramel apple suckers.
4. People who love my kiddos and make them happy.